Turtle(-person), you know, very slow. “Oh my God, ten miles (~16 kilometers)! Now even ten meters I couldn’t crawl out, never mind ten miles. Oh. I think I’m going to die here. I surely will die here. I’ve got nothing to eat. Ten meters I couldn’t move. Ten miles!” Hey, looks like he was going to die! And then the flamingo-husband said, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry. We already know. We have transportation provided for you. […] But there is a condition. You have to listen carefully to our plan.” […]
Long, long time ago, there was a lake. And in the lake, there was a turtle(-person), and outside the lake, there were two flamingo(-people). A turtle(-person) and two flamingo(-people). […] They were friends. That year was a very... There was a drought. Yes, yes, yes. drought. So, no water. During one year, no rain whatsoever. And the lake, the water inside the lake became less and less each day. […] The aquarium (aquatic life) living inside slowly went to Nirvana, one by one. One by one. […] So now, in this kind of situation, the turtle(-person) was very restless and he was always thinking many things in his head about what to do. He wanted very much to be liberated from this situation. He was thinking and thinking. And then, fortunately, the couple, the flamingo couple, came to visit him. Seeing him with such a miserable face – wearing such a miserable mask – they asked him very friendly and anxiously, considerately, lovingly, ‘What’s going on? What’s the matter with you? How come you look so constipated?” So, he looks so miserable.
So, the turtle(-person) said to them: “Oh! Oh! You have no idea! I’m in a great predicament!” […] “I don’t know what you can do for me, you two. But since many days I haven’t had anything to put into my solar plexus center. All I can do is meditate on the solar plexus center, there’s no enlightenment coming in. So, I think I’m going to die. No water, no fish, no shrimps, no frogs, nothing. I think I’m going to die.” […] Now the flamingo husband was in a very, very deep meditation over the problem. So, his eyebrows were knitted together like this. His legs were crossed like that and his wings were placed on top of his legs in a flamingo position. And his wisdom eye was a cloudy color from thinking. And the wife, the female flamingo had such deep compassion. She was so much in sympathy with the turtle(-person).
And then the female flamingo(-person) said to the turtle(-person), (Turtle[-person].) “Hey! Why don’t you move away?” You understand? No. She said, “Why don’t you move? Move to another place. Move your house.” He has his house everywhere he goes. “Move house, go to somewhere else. Begin another business.” And then, the turtle(-person) was in a very deep misery, just said to the flamingo-wife, “Imagine, you know, I have never been anywhere else. I don’t even have a car.” It’s a more modern turtle(-person). I changed it to suit our century. Because at that time when the Buddha talked about this story, there were no cars. But now, we are in the 21st century, so modernize things a little bit, it’s not bad. No? OK. The Buddha would forgive me. “You know, my movement is not very fast. Without a car, what shall I do? Besides, I love my hometown. I would rather die in my motherland. If I’m buried in some strange place, do you think my soul will not become restless?” The turtle(-person)’s soul couldn’t be so restless anyhow, he’s so slow. Right? He can’t be… restless.
And suddenly, the male, the husband flamingo rose his very long neck up. “I have an idea! I want to speak, please!” Full of hope and inspiration. “Ah, don’t fear. Don’t fear. Ah. I know! Ten miles (~16 kilometers) away from here, there is a lotus (Pond.) pond. And that pond is famous for never drying up.” Is that right? Still OK? “Even when we have such drought like this, it has never been dry. So, we will take you over there and then we will be together. We’ll be with you so that you don’t feel lonely, and then we’ll share every up and down with you. Is that alright?”
And then the turtle(-person) still considered. He was very slow even in thinking. He was thinking in his turtle manner. Wise, yes. He kept thinking for maybe half an hour until he could think it off. Turtle(-person), you know, very slow. “Oh my God, ten miles (~16 kilometers)! Now even ten meters I couldn’t crawl out, never mind ten miles. Oh. I think I’m going to die here. I surely will die here. I’ve got nothing to eat. Ten meters I couldn’t move. Ten miles!” Hey, looks like he was going to die!
And then the flamingo-husband said, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry. We already know. We have transportation provided for you. We have booked your first-class air ticket. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there is a condition. You have to listen carefully to our plan. Then we can do it.” And then the turtle(-person) was very seriously interested. He said, “Yes. Yes. Yes. Please.” Now he was quick. He answered in 20 minutes instead of half an hour. “Please tell me. Please.”
And then the flamingo-husband said, “It’s very simple. We both pick up a string and we bite at both sides of the string and you bite in the middle of the string. And then we will carry you to the destination. But you must know: never open your mouth during the journey. Otherwise, it’s dangerous. And maybe your shell will not be in order, and it will be one piece in one place. Or maybe it becomes turtle powder.” Smashed into mashed potatoes. “It doesn’t matter what happens in between times. No matter how excited, how angry or how provoked you are, you must never, ever open your mouth. And in only half an hour we’ll be there. So, you’ll remember?” And the turtle(-person) said, “Capito.” So, OK. Everyone prepared. And then the flamingo couple made sure once more, “Remember. Bite your teeth. Clench your teeth and don’t talk. Don’t even yawn. Understand? You cannot even achoo. Have to be patient. Control yourself until we reach the destination.” OK. Alright. Everything is fixed. Ready. Understood. Stand by and good luck.
Now, let’s move together with them. Alright. Then both of them bit the two ends of the string and the turtle(-person) – in the middle. That’s it. They moved. And then from one place after another, they flew over green pastures, over red flowers, over coffee (color) dry grasses, like in California when I last visited. And then it became green after, after one week or two. And then so many beautiful sceneries passed by. And the turtle(-person) enjoyed it so much that he forgot his homesickness. And many times he wanted to open his mouth, just to praise the surrounding: “Oh. Beautiful Christmas tree. Lovely (vegan) chapatis. Tasty Indian tea. Beautiful Aulacese (Vietnamese) ladies. Nice Chinese songs. Lovely water.” Etc. But he remembered. He remembered that the flamingo(-person) said to him he cannot open his mouth for any reason whatsoever. So, he controlled it hard, put all his attention on his mouth and never opened it. But. There’s always, always a “but.”
They flew over one village and there were children. And you know children. They’re always very naughty. And when they saw the two flamingo(-persons) and the turtle(-person) together, they said, “Hey, look! The two flamingo(-persons) tied a turtle(-person).” I changed a little bit of this manuscript because it was so boring and illogical. “Look, look, look. The stupid turtle(-person) is caught by the flamingo(-people). Never seen anything like that. What a funny object.” And so they kept saying like that, and then they were shouting and jumping and making fun of the turtle(-person).
Now the turtle(-person) could not bear anymore. Never ever in his life, and he lived until such an old age, had people or anyone disrespected him like this. His ego got hurt. His self-esteem battery ran low. His wisdom twisted and his pride boiled up. Like when you cook at 200 degrees (Celsius) in the oven. So, he flashed his turtle eyes down to the Earth, and he opened his turtle mouth and said to them, “Shut up! Shut your mouth!” And as he said that, he became no more turtle(-person). He was liberated. He was freed from his shell. So that’s it. (Good story.)
So, the Buddha said… Yes. We have to respect Him. He’s the storyteller. The Buddha said, “In this world, how many people, just because they don’t keep their mouth shut, run into disasters Therefore, take heed that you talk only when necessary.” The story speaks for itself, and I have done my humorous best to transform a very serious story into a comedy.
Photo Caption: THE BIG PROTECTS THE SMALL
